HI! Sunday night I drove up to Sundance by myself, I needed to get away, get some fresh air, be outside, and feel a little more grounded and connected to the earth. I ended up sitting by the fire pit just chillin’ contemplating the meaning of life when a strange man asked me if I cared if he smoked. I hate when people use that as an opening line, BUT, this guy, he had some things to say that I NEEDED to hear.
First let me tell you a little about him. He’s in his 40’s and is pursuing his rap career. He used to rap in high school and loved it, but didn’t continue doing it. He went on mission, went to BYU, got married at 23 and became a software developer. He realized that he wasn’t happy and wanted to get back into rapping and his wife was like “wtf you can’t be a rapper you are 44 years old” and allegedly that’s why his marriage ended. Now he lives up in Sundance in a small little cabin and he is just enjoying life and following his dreams.
Right now I’m at a point in life where nothing make sense. He told me that it’s okay that I feel that way, that it’s actually good that I feel that way. That being 20 is all about feeling that way and that whatever I do in my 20’s is okay. I could do cocaine and kill a man but it’d be okay because I was in my 20’s lol. He told me that he’s trying to live his 20’s now, that he feels 20 mentally but not physically and that this is my time and I need to embrace it.
I know, you’re reading this and thinking, everyone says this to 20 somethings, but I just really needed to hear it from a stranger for it to stick I guess. Nothing super profound or blog worthy at this point, but then he said:
“If money wasn’t an issue, and you had already taken all the vacations in the world, what would you want to do? Money holds us back from so much, so what does your heart really want to do if you knew that you could?”
WHAT?! I thought about it, and I’m still thinking about it and I honestly have no idea. Then he told me that I needed to go find it, go and find my dreams and follow them.
Driving home I felt incredibly inspired, I still do, still don’t know what the heck my dreams are, I just know that I need to follow them.
So this is me telling you, FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS.
There are no limits in life except for the ones that you set yourself, and holy cow I have been setting sooooo many for myself without even realizing it. I’m so mad at myself for not living life the way I want to, I keep making excuses and putting up roadblocks for no reason. I keep saying oh, “I’ll do it next time” and next time turns into next year and everything that I want to do keeps getting pushed further and further back.
I’m sick of it. A moment of self realization came when I wanted to drive to Idaho in the middle of the night and watch the solar eclipse, but I didn’t go, and I am still kicking myself for not doing it. A once in a lifetime experience and I made excuses and said oh maybe next time. I feel like I’ve been putting life on hold. I am not living life the way I want to be, I feel like I’m barely living at all and that has to stop right now.
I feel super inspired to make some drastic changes in my life, I have got to chase my dreams and start living!!!
Don’t turn down opportunities, don’t put things off, don’t make excuses.
Just live.
Thank you for reading, I’m really excited for what the future holds, the world feels so full of potential and possibilities and I feel so inspired to go out there and grab them. I can’t wait to share it all with you!
-Jess🖤
Sunsets & Sunflowers 